Jacquie Hale
Life Coach
510-548-2585 (pacific time)

Vibrant Life create a life worth living

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How I work Is coaching for you? Client Stories

Client Stories

My clients have complete confidentiality, but I can tell you some general discoveries several clients have made.

Getting to the Heart of the Matter  

Samuel, a successful businessman felt like a failure because of difficulties with his son and eventually turned to coaching. This communication problem actually turned out to be a self-esteem issue. Sam felt like such a failure as a father that he wasn't giving himself credit for his success in the other areas of his life. One homework assignment I gave Sam was to ask 5 different people what the saw were his gifts and challenges. From this simple (but hard to do) exercise, Sam began to see what a tremendous impact he had on the people he worked with. He was particularly surprised at the high value his clients put on his work.

While this didn't solve Sam's communication problems with his son, it changed his outlook on life. He no longer felt like a failure because he could clearly see the impact his life had on others and he realized his importance in his community. Feeling more successful allowed him to communicate better with his son and their relationship improved.

Living Your Purpose 

Like many clients, Susan was finding her work frustrating and exhausting. Things kept going wrong. Secretaries left, colleagues were squabbling, messages were lost, and she was held responsible for far too many projects. One of her work responsibilities was to attract more women to a trade union that was dominated by men. She is an incredibly attractive woman working in a man’s world.  In some ways this was good because she was a feminine voice that many of the men listened to. In other ways, she felt like the token woman or a sex object.

As part of her coaching, I asked Susan to visualize a symbol of her purpose in this job. She saw the Statue of Liberty and she resonated with “give me your tired, your poor…” Susan began using that symbol to guide her decisions. Not only did she attract far more women into the union, the work frustrations seemed to have evaporated. As an ultimate distinction, Susan was elected to a high position in the union—the first woman ever to hold an elected position! The last I heard from her, life was busy but exciting and meaningful. It was wonderful to see how Susan bloomed after stepping into her role as the Statue of Liberty. It was incredibly rewarding to work with a woman who wanted to make a difference in the world.

Conscious Loving

Sanford called me because he had read Gay and Katie Hendricks book, Conscious Loving. He wanted help with a troubled marriage. I began working with both of them, when it became evident that this marriage was going to end in divorce, I continued to coach Sanford. Sanford wanted to end the relationship with integrity and dignity. Here’s what resulted from our coaching:

When he became overgenerous in the settlement of property, he realized he was reacting to his sense of failure as a husband and father. He struggled to set good boundaries. He learned to forgive himself for his mistakes. He was determined to do better.

When his wife was slinging mud, he looked at each accusation and asked if it was true. If it was, he committed to change. When confronted with lies, he looked for the kernel of truth and held it up to examine his part in it. He worked very hard to learn from his mistakes so that he wouldn’t make them over and over again.

When the dust settled after the divorce, Sanford started dating. He found he kept finding women who were similar to his wife (and not surprising, similar to his mother, too). He dug deep to discover why he was attracted to the same kind of woman over and over again. In looking at himself with clarity, he began to see what he was longing for – someone who appreciated his talents and abilities, someone who took him seriously, someone who loved freedom and independence but who was also enlivened by a committed relationship. Sanford eventually saw that first he had to give these things to himself. He had to take his work seriously. He had to appreciate his talents. He had to cultivate independence before he could be in a committed relationship.

As a result, Sanford's flagging business started to thrive. Sanford spend 6 months not dating so that he could find what he liked about himself. He liked his generosity and his compassion. He indulged his love of photography and riding his motorcycle. He allowed his incredible mind to generate new ideas and began to bring them into reality for his clients. Sanford was becoming a whole person, complete and resourceful.

After two and a half years, Sanford decided to go it alone, without a coach. Things have gone somewhat like when he had a coach, some things work, some things don’t. Problems still arise, but he is far more capable of handling them on his own. I see a happier, wiser, more confident man these days and I feel privileged to have worked with someone so determined to make his life better and not to hurt anyone in the process.

Why Am I Doing This?

After the birth of her second baby, Cheryl, was wondering if she should go back to her career. She told me how fulfilling it was and how successful she had been in reaching her high position in the company. At the same time, she was really drawn to being a full time mother. How could she decide?

First I had Cheryl and her husband evaluate the financial pictures of the various scenarios. It turned out they could live almost as comfortably on one salary. Then I had Cheryl brainstorm about the options she had. She remembered a life long dream--to live in Europe with her family. When she got clear about the possibilities, she was better able to make a decision. Ultimately she choose to stay home until the kids were in school. At the same time, she began to explore how they could move to Europe. Having this dream and working toward it with her husband gave her a tremendous sense of accomplishment. She realized that she felt as successful as she had at her high powered job. In addition, she felt far less stress and had much more fun. Her children are thriving and the family is quite happy.

Health Related Coaching

In addition to a coach, I am also a natural health consultant. Some clients have recurring health problems that have connections in the emotional-spiritual realm. Here are a few stories:

Fibroids My ideas about fibroids have come from Dr. Christiane Northrup and her books, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause. Several female clients with fibroids have explored the idea of putting their creative energy into dead-end activities or relationships. One realized that her job was totally unsuitable for her temperament and has found a different employer in a more compatible area. Another has realized that her relationship with her husband is not fulfilling and has instituted couple's counseling. A third has become aware of her deep passion for painting and has added this creative outlet to her weekly schedule.

Ulcers One of my clients complained of ulcers. When I asked, "What's eating you up?" she responded, "My marriage!" She entered couples therapy with her husband and they are creating a more healthy relationship.

Recurring Bladder Infections When I asked a female client who had her 10th bladder infection in three years, "Who pisses you off?" and "What relationship do you need to let go of?" she admitted that she was really in a bad relationship with her boyfriend. She eventually "ditched" him.

            How I Work                   Is Coaching for You?

 

 

 

 

Jacquie Hale  *  510-548-2585  (Pacific Time)
2209 Glen Avenue  *  Berkeley, CA 94709